I can't believe I'm writing right now. I have written, oh, I'd say 20 pages of research papers in the last TWO DAYS. The sad thing is, I have about, oh, 5 plus 4 other pages to write and 10 other pages to perfect. Boy-oh-boy will I be glad when this is all done. :) I'm so close!! And I'm definitely, for once, actually motivated to get it done EARLY!
Awwww but you know what?? I really don't mind all of this work. I know I'm learning...I feel SMART....and I can tell that I'm really beginning to actually INTERNALIZE the things I'm learning about. It's such a great feeling. :)
So lately I've been really excited about school and getting as many degrees as possible. I've come to realize how easy it will be to get an Honor's Degree, Human Factors Certificate, Italian Minor, and my Psychology degree, too. All it will take is a single extra semester. TOTALLY worth it! I like feeling like I'm actually going somewhere and that maybe, just maybe, I could get into a decent graduate school.
One of my psych professors personally invited me to join her graduate program here and I'm actually thinking about taking her up on it. My Dad even wanted me to forgo Italy and graduating early so I could join her program. There's absolutely, positively NO WAY I will ever give up that experience, though. The only reason I wouldn't go to Italy for is if the entire country sunk into the Mediterranean Sea and ceased to exist. Studying abroad is what I have worked so hard for the last years of my life, and now that I've OFFICIALLY been accepted (YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!) every day I work harder to make sure my experiences there will be life changing.
School, life, and my dreams are all in optimal places right now. It's all so good. :)
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Not A Time to Wish
It's that time of the year where things get...crazy. I knew it would come, we all knew it would, and here it is, knocking on our front doors and there's no way out.
It's so incredible to me how fast time passes. Every year I think to myself that there's no possible way for a year to go by faster than the last, but, alas, I'm always disproved. The last few years I've been trying to teach myself how to be more grateful for the days I've been given to live and experience. I know that sounds cheesy and cliche, but, honestly, I can never truly see myself doing everything that I want to do in my life. There's so much to do and learn and experience and see and love and eat and touch and listen to that sometimes it gets a little overwhelming.
I think I'm the type of person that rarely takes the small things for granted. If I happen to be walking on the streets of DC and see a blossoming cherry tree, I feel lucky to be at that specific spot at that specific time. If I walk across a busy city street, look down, and see a squirrel running alongside with me, I laugh and feel happy that I had the chance to experience that interaction. Seeing and, more importantly, appreciating the little things is what makes my life so different than others that I know, and I wouldn't change it for a second. I love it.
That's why I've been trying to teach myself to never wish for time to go faster than it does. Even if I'm DYING to fly off to the warm sunny Caribbean beaches over Winter Break or sooo excited to turn that last final paper in, I don't ever WISH for time to speed up. I try to see each day as a small victory in seeing everything as simple and complete. Yes, complete. And simple.
My finals happen to be on the same day this semester (wooohooo April 29th) but I'm not wishing for that day to arrive any faster than normal so that I can "get it over with." I know that wishing really won't make time go by faster (we all know that) but what I've learned is that I don't WANT the time from now to then to seem any faster than usual. Wishing is useless and just makes you miss out on the small things. I'll never have another chance to live at this exact age or experience my life with this precise amount of knowledge. I'll keep learning and seeing my life differently; I'll keep changing and seeing things in a new viewpoint. And that's great. :)
It's so incredible to me how fast time passes. Every year I think to myself that there's no possible way for a year to go by faster than the last, but, alas, I'm always disproved. The last few years I've been trying to teach myself how to be more grateful for the days I've been given to live and experience. I know that sounds cheesy and cliche, but, honestly, I can never truly see myself doing everything that I want to do in my life. There's so much to do and learn and experience and see and love and eat and touch and listen to that sometimes it gets a little overwhelming.
I think I'm the type of person that rarely takes the small things for granted. If I happen to be walking on the streets of DC and see a blossoming cherry tree, I feel lucky to be at that specific spot at that specific time. If I walk across a busy city street, look down, and see a squirrel running alongside with me, I laugh and feel happy that I had the chance to experience that interaction. Seeing and, more importantly, appreciating the little things is what makes my life so different than others that I know, and I wouldn't change it for a second. I love it.
That's why I've been trying to teach myself to never wish for time to go faster than it does. Even if I'm DYING to fly off to the warm sunny Caribbean beaches over Winter Break or sooo excited to turn that last final paper in, I don't ever WISH for time to speed up. I try to see each day as a small victory in seeing everything as simple and complete. Yes, complete. And simple.
My finals happen to be on the same day this semester (wooohooo April 29th) but I'm not wishing for that day to arrive any faster than normal so that I can "get it over with." I know that wishing really won't make time go by faster (we all know that) but what I've learned is that I don't WANT the time from now to then to seem any faster than usual. Wishing is useless and just makes you miss out on the small things. I'll never have another chance to live at this exact age or experience my life with this precise amount of knowledge. I'll keep learning and seeing my life differently; I'll keep changing and seeing things in a new viewpoint. And that's great. :)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
You'd Think I'd Get Used to It
So. For those of you who know me or talk to me regularly know that I want to study abroad in Italy next year. You all also know how much I've been worrying about my acceptance or lack thereof lately. It's honestly on my mind all the time, and I hate it. I was supposed to hear back from the study abroad office the FIRST WEEK of MARCH and still don't have any new news despite it being the first week of APRIL.
What I can't ignore are all of the sad puppy-dog eyes everyone gives me when they find out how late this acceptance is. Yes, I know that many of you are perfectly fine with assuming that I'm going and seeing that as a hard fact (and I love you all for that!), but I can't help doubt the possibility that I won't be accepted. What's worse is that I can't help feeling the same sadness that I see in all of you that I really may not go.
I just wish that the &*$^@ office could figure whatever they're trying to figure out and TELL me already if I'm accepted or not. I got a message yesterday inviting me to an orientation meeting for all those wonderful students studying abroad next year, but it's almost just an attempt to make me feel hopeful about this slow process--an attempt to tell me that they're still very aware that something's wrong and a fruitless effort to help me feel included.
I just don't want to get my hopes up more than they are. I used to be so certain about it. : (
What I can't ignore are all of the sad puppy-dog eyes everyone gives me when they find out how late this acceptance is. Yes, I know that many of you are perfectly fine with assuming that I'm going and seeing that as a hard fact (and I love you all for that!), but I can't help doubt the possibility that I won't be accepted. What's worse is that I can't help feeling the same sadness that I see in all of you that I really may not go.
I just wish that the &*$^@ office could figure whatever they're trying to figure out and TELL me already if I'm accepted or not. I got a message yesterday inviting me to an orientation meeting for all those wonderful students studying abroad next year, but it's almost just an attempt to make me feel hopeful about this slow process--an attempt to tell me that they're still very aware that something's wrong and a fruitless effort to help me feel included.
I just don't want to get my hopes up more than they are. I used to be so certain about it. : (
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