Declarations

I figured I should tell the world know my reasoning.

I have reasons. And they make sense. So here they are.

First of all, I need to just say it out-loud: I am only staying in Italy for one semester. I will only be here for 7 months and not 10 like I originally planned. Why? you ask. Let me tell you; let me explain everything here and help you understand.

Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I am proud of my life that I have created from scratch without the help of parents or someone more knowledgeable. Everything around me is a product of me, and I can say in true honesty that I trust and am more sure of myself because of my time here. I am proud that I have not only gotten by, but succeeded. Italy has shown me more about my strength than anything else ever has, and I respect what I have found. I would love to see what else I can learn about myself, but, in honesty, I'll do that no matter where I am.

I came here as a student. Yes, a student that pays tuition and wants to make something of herself; a student that had the exhilarating opportunity to study abroad in Italy. Yet, I am also more than just a student. If my life was based on only going to classes and only doing homework and staying in one place, then I wouldn't be me anymore. I'm so much more than a student. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. A friend. A crush.

That's how I like it and want it to be; my life is nearly perfect.

So, then, when I had to decide if I should stay and do another semester of classes in Italy, the answer eventually became clear: it doesn't make sense for me to take classes that I don't need to take, especially when it costs thousands of dollars. Why wait around and go to classes that won't help my future? I didn't see the point. I still don't.

There's my answer. And my reasoning. I'm putting away the "student" label and really figuring things out from a different perspective. It would just feel like a waste of money to me.

Will I regret it? I still don't know. I don't know how I will feel being back in Utah when I knew I could have been in Italy. But on the other hand, I don't know how I would have felt staying in Italy for another semester knowing that I wasn't doing anything beneficial to my future.

I'm going to miss Italy. I'm going to miss my life. I'm happy here.
But it just doesn't make sense.